I feel like i've abandoned my family.... the ones that were always there and always cared weather i could see it or not. behind the thick fog of hurt that is how it was... i just wish i was smart enough to see how much effort they actually put into it our friendship. and see i wasn't the only one putting in effort. its just i was the one to go to birthdays and hang out and not bail and they just didn't have the time and it hurt. what hurt the most were the lies. but now i'm going to miss every thing. i'll miss the birthdays and all the other things we used to talk about. and i don't wanna miss one of those things. </3
but bloody hell it hurt soo much when they bailed and never showed up and would say yeah yeah i'll bve there for sure then that day or the day after say oh sorry i forgot or sorry i can't got grounded. :'(
it used to send me to tears and i'd feel like crap and i obviously wasn't good enough.
but you guys were me past and you helped my up when i was down..... when i cried, when i was happy, most of my memories were with YOU! you were there for me when things got hard with my sister, or my dad, or when i was pissed at my little sisters dad, or when i just needed to vent. when i was going through all kinds of stages. :/
and now a few hard times and a couple words from my parents and i turn my back on you and give you's the cold shoulder?????
you guys know more than me than anyone does even my own family i used to go to you for hel i looked up to yous. and i turn my back on you cos it got really hard and we were hardly talking...?
i'm sooo sorry and i feel sooo stupid :(((
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